Category: life

On friendships

It’s hard for a cisnormative, adult male to make new friends. I’m not sure why that is but I feel like I struggle to find what I consider to be my tribe. Where is the tribe for progressive, atheist, secular humanist, tattoo collecting, cycling, backpacking/hiking, introspective, reading, geeky people?

I read an article somewhere about introverts and while I don’t consider myself an introvert exactly, what the article said about friends and friendship resonated with me. It said that introverts prefer fewer close friends to many casual friends and I found myself nodding in agreement as I read the article.

If there is a friendship scale from 1 to 10 with 1 being wasn’t that guy’s name Joe? and 10 being dude, can you help me move this dead body?, I’d say I have a good core circle of friends in the 5 range and a couple other circles in the 3-4 range. My single 8+ friend lives far away and we rarely get to hang. If I could just elevate my core group of 5 range friends to the 7 range, that’d be awesome. Instead, I recently realized that somebody that I thought of as a 7 range friend probably only considers me as a 4 range friend. Bummer.

Is it inappropriate to just inform somebody that you’d like to be BFF’s? I guess I just invite people to do things? Where is the manual or Wikipedia article on how to make new BFF’s? Would it be weird to create an OKC profile searching for friends only? :/

Yours truly,

Awkwardly Searching

Dorking around with Nashville transit

Anybody who knows me knows that I’m into transit and I want to bike around and all those hippie things that hippies do. Be green, save the earth, carbon foot prints etc. I’ve always been into the idea of transit and urban biking at least. I’ve often wondered how different the idea and reality is.

Since we’ve moved to Nashville, I’ve had a few opportunities to experiment with the Nashville MTA and so far the experience hasn’t been terrible.

Our friends organize a happy hour thing (HOH Nation) every Friday night so I thought that would be a great reason to ride the bus down into the city.

Our first experience didn’t start out so great as we had to wait nearly 40 minutes for the bus to come. I have no idea what the hold up was but the rest of the experience was fine.

The second experience was today and was much better. We only had to wait 8 minutes! According to the bus schedule, the bus comes by every 20 minutes so we just lucked up there. The ride down to mid-town seemed pretty quick tho I didn’t think to time it. We caught the last bus heading back at 9:58pm and it was exactly 20 minutes later that we were stepping off the bus. According to Waze, it would take us 17 minutes to drive to Winners. That’s not bad for the bus!

Admittedly, Winners is on the same bus line as our apartment so it’s a simple, straight shot and we don’t have to transfer. Tomorrow we’re going to take the bus to the Tomato Arts Festival and we plan to bus… with the kids and we’ll have to transfer. This will be a more robust test.

Once we learn the schedule of the bus, we can time our arrival at the at the stop better as to minimize the waiting.

One thing I don’t like is the buses stop running kind of early. 10pm isn’t that late for a Friday night so we would have to get a taxi home or call Taxi Tyler for a pick up if we wanted to stay later. They stop running even earlier on the weekends. Something like 7pm according to the printed schedule. Bummer. Another thing I’m not too fond of is the bus stop situation. The two in front of our apartment complex are just small blue signs on posts. The one across the street barely has any room to stand to cross the street back to the apartment nor is there a marked pedestrian cross walk. It’s seems unsafe to cross the road there, especially after 10pm at night.

So far the results are mixed tho overall I’m positive on the experiences. I can’t wait to get my bike.

Trying to buy a bike, help me decide

So, I want to commute to work and bike around Nashville. To get the most bang for my buck, I’ve been cruising Craigslist for something used. Here are the candidates, in no particular order:

  1. Trek 7.2 fx road hybrid (another one here)
  2. NEW! TREK 7.4 FX BIKE
  3. Road Bike, TREK
  4. trek 1.1

In the perfect world, I’d like to get a road bike with flat handle bars. I’m still tempted to walk into a bike shop and just let them sell me something too.

30 Day Personal Fitness Challenge

These past months have been pretty stressful. That stress has made it easy for me to skip workouts and shovel all the food into my face hole. As a result, I’ve gained about 12 lbs during that time.

I still want to be a happy, healthy, active person so this is me trying to dig in my heels to stop the slide into fat guy land. As part of that, I’m going to do a 30 day fitness challenge. During my challenge, I’m going to do these things to make myself accountable:

First, I’m going to weigh myself and I’m going to post that on the Internet. This morning, I was 280.9 lbs. I’ll post this every Monday.

Second, I’m going to move my body everyday. This morning was a short run but other activities can be walking or hitting the fitness center here in the apartment complex. I’m saving my pennies so I can purchase a bike for biking to work so I’ll have about an hour of cardio built into my day once I start that.

Third, I’m going to track my calories everyday… even on bad days when I’ve eaten all the things and I’m way way over my calorie goal. I use myfitnesspal to do that. I know there are some thoughts that perhaps calorie tracking isn’t the best way to lose weight but I know this method works for me and it makes me think about what I’m shoveling into my mouth.

The goal is for all of this to translate into me feeling better about myself, feeling healthier and for the scales to agree with how I’m feeling. Wish me luck.

How to hang 2 pictures on a wall evenly

We’re still unpacking and getting settled after our move to Nashville. On Saturday we worked a few hours hanging pictures and unpacking more boxes.

I feel kind of dumb in retrospect but I just couldn’t figure out how to hang two pictures on a wall evenly. I couldn’t figure out the math to make the space between edge of the wall and the space between the pictures the same. I could just eyeball it but I couldn’t verify it with math. Ugh. My mind kept wanting to divide the wall into thirds, measure and hang but when you do it that way, the space between the pictures is less than the space between the picture and the edge of the wall. Here are the math steps to figure it out. I’ll use my specific measurements as examples.

  1. Measure your wall. Our wall was 98 inches.
  2. Measure the width of your pictures and add that together. We had two pictures of the same size and they were 21.5 inches wide so 21.5 + 21.5 = 43 inches.
  3. Subtract the width of your pictures in step 2 from the width of your wall. 98 – 43 = 55. We now know that we have 55 inches of space that’s not covered by a picture.
  4. Now divide the number of spaces into the amount of free space from step 3 (55 inches). Since there are two pictures, we have three spaces. So 55 / 3 = 18.3.
  5. The edge of the pictures should be placed 18 1/3 inches apart.
  6. Since our pictures are 21.5 inches wide, I just divided 21.5 / 2 to find the center point on the frame (10 3/4 inches) and added that to the amount of space determined in step 4 so 18.3 + 10.75 = 29.05 inches. So I measured 29 inches from the left of my wall and made a mark. I did the same thing from the right edge of the wall and placed my hangers and hung my picture frames and they were evenly spaced. Yay OCD brain!

I wish I had paid better attention in grade school math.

Percy Warner, chores and unpacking oh my

I can really tell the boys are back as the chore load has gone up, especially in the kitchen. Ugh.

We bought another TV for H from craigslist as his broke during the move. On the way, we saw this. 🙁

We’ve had our most productive day unpacking. Both kid bedrooms look like bedrooms now but now the hall is piled full until we can get our storage unit; hopefully that’s Monday.

I got back into the swing of things with the weekly shopping (thanks Plan to Eat). Saw this this as I was leaving Kroger:

I went over to Percy Warner for a walk.

Weird day emotionally.

And so it goes


It turns out that work is only 5.1 miles from the apartment and today it took me exactly 8 minutes to get there. That will never get old.

Today wasn’t terribly productive at work. Worked on some documentation, helped a couple users and then spent the rest of the day researching bike commuting and premium WordPress themes. Also managed to get Butch Walker tickets.

Jen needed a break from sitting around so after work she tagged along as I ran errands; insurance, bank, Target and then pizza at NY Pie. I hope she didn’t over do it.

I’ve eaten like a pig lately and I’ve struggled with my motivation to workout (the heat isn’t helping), tho I did manage to go up to the apartment fitness center to ride the stationary bike and use a couple of the machines this evening. I’m going to run a couple miles in the morning; maybe I won’t stroke out.

We’re finally getting Internet tomorrow. It only took Comcast a week to get a service tech to come out.

Jen seems to feeling better everyday tho she’s lonely, bored and tired. Here is a picture of Nürse Ben Stiller.


My life these past 3-4 weeks has been crazy and I don’t know how to write about it. It’s not just that I don’t know how to write about it but I can’t write about some parts of it. I think I need a therapist.

We moved to Nashville yesterday. My drive into work this morning was twelve minutes and it was awesome. I slept in an hour later and got to work thirty minutes earlier. This afternoon, I’ll get home nearly two hours earlier than before. If there is an afterlife, I’m pretty sure this would be my heaven.

Jen’s surgery is Friday. It’s a big scary thing and I’m afraid. I think everything will OK but it’s just this process we have to go through. I also feel guilty for feeling anything other than support. I’m not the sick person and the expectation is that I’m supposed to be supportive and loving. I am supporting and loving but I also feel other things.

Life is hard sometimes.