On friendships

It’s hard for a cisnormative, adult male to make new friends. I’m not sure why that is but I feel like I struggle to find what I consider to be my tribe. Where is the tribe for progressive, atheist, secular humanist, tattoo collecting, cycling, backpacking/hiking, introspective, reading, geeky people?

I read an article somewhere about introverts and while I don’t consider myself an introvert exactly, what the article said about friends and friendship resonated with me. It said that introverts prefer fewer close friends to many casual friends and I found myself nodding in agreement as I read the article.

If there is a friendship scale from 1 to 10 with 1 being wasn’t that guy’s name Joe? and 10 being dude, can you help me move this dead body?, I’d say I have a good core circle of friends in the 5 range and a couple other circles in the 3-4 range. My single 8+ friend lives far away and we rarely get to hang. If I could just elevate my core group of 5 range friends to the 7 range, that’d be awesome. Instead, I recently realized that somebody that I thought of as a 7 range friend probably only considers me as a 4 range friend. Bummer.

Is it inappropriate to just inform somebody that you’d like to be BFF’s? I guess I just invite people to do things? Where is the manual or Wikipedia article on how to make new BFF’s?¬†Would it be weird to create an OKC profile searching for friends only? :/

Yours truly,

Awkwardly Searching

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2 thoughts on “On friendships

  1. I feel the same way. Even though I have a lot of friends here, my 8+ (I have 2) are in Georgia and Texas…and I don’t get to see them much. I’d love a partner in crime here but it seems lots of people already have their inner circle established and it’s hard to find a similar soul.

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